What Should I Do If I Think Someone Is Suicidal?

Ask Directly, Without Turning It Into an Argument

A common fear is that asking about suicide will put the idea in someone's head. The National Institute of Mental Health explains that asking directly does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. A direct question may give the person license to stop faking their well-being, and asking questions can also help you distinguish general distress from an immediate crisis.

Ask in straightforward terms and keep your voice low and calm. You might say something like "I am scared for you. Are you considering suicide?" Or, "When you mentioned not wanting to be alive anymore, did you mean that you want to hurt yourself?" Don't use euphemisms, jokes, or emotional displays. Make it easy for them to answer honestly.

If they open up, tell them you're glad they are talking to you. Then find out if they are thinking about a plan, if they already have a method they could use, and if they have a target date in mind. These are difficult questions, but they help gauge the urgency of the crisis. If you are given a plan, a means, or an intent, do not let the person go alone. Call 988, 911, or another emergency number immediately.

Listen for Risk, Not Just Reassurance

Some suicide warning signs are direct, talking about wanting to die, or looking for a way to end one's life. Others are less obvious. The 988 Lifeline warning signs include hopelessness, feeling trapped, feeling like a burden, increased substance use, reckless behavior, withdrawal, major sleep changes, rage, and extreme mood swings. Families often miss risk because the person still goes to work, jokes with others, or says "I'm just tired."

Pay close attention to sudden shifts. A loved one who suddenly calms down after a difficult period could also be in crisis, particularly if they are giving things away, saying goodbye, making unusual arrangements, or becoming withdrawn after an argument. Someone who uses alcohol or drugs can be impulsive during a crisis.

A person struggling with depression, trauma symptoms, psychosis, severe anxiety, or a co-occurring substance use disorder may also need professional evaluation, even if they don't report any immediate suicidal intent. Don't make the conversation about whether they should feel this way. Pain doesn't have to make sense to be dangerous.

Someone may not admit suicidal thoughts because they're ashamed, afraid of being hospitalized, worried about being a burden, or just not ready. You can say: "I hear you. I'm still worried because you seem different, and I want us to get support." If they deny suicidal thoughts but you still feel concerned, keep talking and keep the door open.

Help Make the Immediate Environment Safer

Safety is practical. NIMH's five action steps include helping people stay safe by reducing access to the most lethal items or places. This can include removing or securing firearms, medications, sharp objects, car keys, or other potential means when you can safely do so.

Stay nearby if it is safe to do so. Have another trusted person come to help so one person is not taking full responsibility. Do not leave the person alone while you "wait and see." If they want to nap, take a shower, drive, or leave the house while they are at risk, help them pause and connect with a crisis service first.

What to Say and What Not to Say

If someone asks you not to tell, be honest: let them know you care about them too much to keep this a secret if their life might be in danger.

After the crisis, keep checking in. Follow-up matters because suicidal thoughts may resurface after the first conversation, after hospital discharge, or during another stressful event. Sometimes it is just a text, a phone call, offering a ride to an appointment, or helping remove obstacles to care.

Families should also be cautious about turning one conversation into a promise that the problem is over. A loved one may feel better for a while only to fall back into distress a few hours later. Have crisis numbers handy, ask who else can be part of the support plan, and help make the next professional appointment. If the person rejects all options but you still feel unsafe about their wellbeing, prioritize safety over peace.

When Professional Treatment May Be Needed

A suicidal crisis may require going to an emergency room. Beyond immediate safety, professional treatment can help a person understand what is leading to suicidal feelings, including depression, trauma, anxiety, bipolar symptoms, substance use, grief, medication concerns, or another mental illness.

For some people, outpatient therapy may be sufficient. For others, especially if symptoms are severe, safety is uncertain, substance use is involved, or daily functioning has changed, a higher level of care such as residential or day treatment may be appropriate. Banyan's mental health treatment programs may be appropriate after a clinical assessment, but they are not a substitute for emergency services during an active crisis.

It can help to distinguish between two separate questions. Immediate safety: "Will this person live and be safe today?" Longer-term care: "What support could help decrease the symptoms, substance use, isolation, and instability that led to this crisis?" Both questions need answers, and not necessarily in the same conversation.

How Banyan Can Help After Immediate Safety Is Addressed

Once a person is out of immediate danger, Banyan Treatment Centers can help families understand different levels of treatment that may be available. An admissions representative can talk to a family about symptoms and substance use to help determine if a clinical assessment is the right next step.

Family involvement also matters. Loved ones often need guidance on what to say, what boundaries are appropriate, and how to support treatment without taking full responsibility for another person's safety. It is also okay for family members to need support for themselves. Responding to a suicidal crisis can leave people shaken, guilty, angry, or afraid. After the crisis, consider speaking with a counselor, support group, or trusted professional so you are not trying to process the experience alone. Supporting someone else is easier when your own safety and stability are protected too. No one should have to manage this kind of fear privately or in silence.