What Should I Do If I Think Someone Is Suicidal?
A mental health crisis is not always dramatic or sudden. It can build over days or weeks, with warning signs that are easy to explain away or minimize until the situation becomes urgent. Families who know what to look for are in a far better position to act before a crisis reaches its peak. This guide covers the warning signs across every stage — from early concern to immediate emergency.
Medically Reviewed by:
Dr. Darrin Mangiacarne
Chief Medical Officer
At Banyan Treatment Centers, Chief Medical Officer Dr. Darrin Mangiacarne leads our nationwide clinical team with over a decade of addiction medicine experience, helping ensure evidence-based, compassionate care across every level of treatment.
Author / Written by: Banyan Editorial Staff
Medically reviewed by: Dr. Darrin Mangiacarne, CMO
Updated on: June 2026
Family Resources Hub › Mental Health Resources › Identifying a Mental Health Crisis
Asking About Suicide Does Not Make It More Likely
The most persistent and damaging myth about suicide is that asking about it plants the idea. Decades of research have disproved this. Asking someone directly — calmly, without panic, with genuine care — does not increase risk. In the majority of cases, it provides relief. Many people who are thinking about suicide feel profoundly alone in that experience, convinced that no one can handle the truth. Being asked, by someone who stays calm and stays present, can be the intervention that opens the door to help.
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What to Do — Step by Step
Step 1: Ask Directly
Find a private, calm moment and ask clearly: ‘I’ve been worried about you and I need to ask you something directly — are you thinking about suicide?’ If they say yes, thank them for telling you. If they say no but you remain concerned, it is okay to say: ‘I hear you, and I’m still worried. Would you be willing to talk to someone with me?’
Step 2: Listen Without Fixing
If they open up, your job is to listen — not to argue, minimize, problem-solve, or reassure. ‘Things will get better’ and ‘You have so much to live for’ can feel dismissive to someone in real pain. What they need first is to feel heard. Say: ‘Thank you for telling me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’
Step 3: Assess the Level of Risk
Ask whether they have a plan and whether they have access to means. A person with a specific plan and access to the means of that plan is at higher immediate risk than a person with passive ideation and no plan. This information guides your next step — 988 or 911.
Step 4: Call 988 or 911
988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) is for crisis support, guidance, and de-escalation — available 24/7 by call or text. If your loved one has a specific plan, has access to means, or has taken any preparatory steps, call 911. You can also call 988 together with your loved one — counselors can guide the conversation in real time.
Step 5: Remove Access to Means
If your loved one is at risk, removing or securing potential means from the home is one of the most effective suicide prevention measures available. Secure or remove medications and firearms. This step does not require a confrontation — it can be done quietly. Research shows means restriction alone saves lives.
Step 6: Do Not Leave Them Alone
Until professional support is engaged, do not leave a person at active suicidal risk alone. Your presence is a meaningful protective factor. If you need to step away, ensure someone else you trust takes your place. If you cannot ensure their safety, call 911.
Approaches That Can Make Things Worse
Don't Promise Secrecy
If your loved one says ‘promise you won’t tell anyone’ before disclosing suicidal thoughts — do not make that promise. You cannot keep it and you should not try. You can say: ‘I care about you too much to promise that. If you tell me something that worries me for your safety, I’m going to do what I need to do to keep you safe.’
Don't Minimize or Argue
Telling someone their reasons for wanting to die are not valid, or that things are not as bad as they think, does not reduce suicidal ideation. It typically produces shame, defensiveness, and withdrawal — making the person less likely to be honest about their state in the future. Validate the pain without validating the conclusion.
Don't Leave the Crisis Unaddressed
A suicidal conversation is not a conversation you have and then move on from. After the immediate crisis is stabilized, follow up. Connect your loved one to professional support. Check in consistently. The period following a suicidal disclosure is high-risk — sustained attention matters.
Don't Assume Safety Once They Say They're Fine
People in suicidal crisis sometimes present as calmer or better after having made a decision to act. A sudden shift from distress to apparent calm — without clear clinical change or professional support — can indicate that a plan has been made rather than resolved. Stay attentive.
What Comes Next — For Your Loved One and for You
Surviving a loved one's suicidal crisis is genuinely traumatic. The fear, the hypervigilance, the feeling of carrying an impossible weight — these are real and they require attention. Many family members experience symptoms of secondary traumatic stress following a loved one's crisis, and those symptoms deserve professional support just as much as the person in crisis does.
Connect to Professional Treatment — Today
A suicidal crisis is a clinical signal that the current level of support is not sufficient. Connect your loved one with professional mental health treatment as quickly as possible — same day if they are willing. This is not something to put on a to-do list. Call Banyan at 855-722-6926, their therapist or psychiatrist, or take them to an emergency room.
Get Support for Yourself
You cannot sustain this level of vigilance alone and without support. NAMI's family support groups, Al-Anon Family Groups (if applicable), and individual therapy with a clinician who understands trauma are all appropriate resources for family members who have navigated a loved one's suicidal crisis.
Build a Safety Plan Together
A safety plan is a document created with clinical support that identifies the specific warning signs, coping strategies, people to call, and steps to take when suicidal thoughts return. Ask your loved one's mental health provider about creating one. Families can also be part of the safety planning process.
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You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone
Banyan's Family Program
A loved one's suicidal crisis changes a family. Banyan's Family Program provides structured support, education, and weekly family therapy sessions specifically for families navigating a loved one's mental health — including the trauma of having witnessed a crisis. Our clinical team helps families understand what happened, process their own emotional response, and build the knowledge to recognize and respond to future warning signs.
Clinical Assessment and Psychiatric Care
If your loved one is willing to seek help following a suicidal crisis, Banyan provides comprehensive psychiatric evaluation and mental health treatment. Every person in our care receives an individualized treatment plan that directly addresses what contributed to the crisis — not just symptom management, but the underlying conditions that put them at risk.
Guidance for Families — Any Time
You do not need to wait until your loved one accepts help to call us. Families dealing with a loved one's suicidal ideation often need guidance themselves — about how to communicate, how to set up safety plans, and how to support without becoming the sole line of defense. Call us at any point. That conversation is free and without obligation.
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