Q: When did you realize it was time to get sober?
A: At my first time at Banyan Treatment Center I was there for Mother’s Day. I hadn’t spoken to my mom in nine months. I called her, she gave me genuine love for the first time. She said Erin, I love you so much. I pray for you every day, but you’re breaking my heart. I don’t know how to fix you or help you. Then I got out of Banyan and I did the same thing I had done all of the other times. Doing Erin’s anonymous. Dating sugar daddies and losing myself. I was on a date and ended up getting raped at gun point. That was it, I knew I wanted to live. I reached out and came back to Banyan. I then went to California and really worked on myself.
Q: Did your friends and family try to help you get sober? A: Kind of, my family doesn’t really support me.
Q: What does your sobriety mean to your family? A: Nothing they are not supportive. And they don’t understand.
Q: What does your sobriety mean to you? A: Everything, it’s a new life to me. I missed my baby sister’s wedding to stay in treatment and get the help I needed.
Q: How has sobriety improved your life? A: I actually live life and enjoy living. I’m not just existing and miserable waiting for my next high to kill me.
Q: What has been the most challenging aspect of your journey? A: Boundaries with my family. My parents love to control and meddle in my life. I have come to the conclusion (it took 15 years at least to realize) that my parents are not going to change, EVER. I have changed, and that’s awesome, but I can’t expect my family and parents to.
Q: Do you encounter triggers for relapse? How do you handle this? A: Yes, I encounter triggers for relapse. I play the tape through. I call my supports. I treat myself to something sweet. I do something physical. I look at pictures of my nephew and boyfriend. I remember how I felt when I used to get high, and the hard uphill battle I have climbed and continue to climb. I do something for someone else. I go to a meeting and LISTEN to others share their experience, strength, and hope! I cook and or bake from scratch. I feel whatever emotions I am feeling and then move on. GET OFF MY PITTY POT!!
Q: What’s one of the biggest benefits of sobriety? A: I have a life I NEVER thought I would have, or thought I deserved. I can be true to myself.