You care about your loved one, but their addiction is pulling them down.
Ever since they started using drugs or drinking heavily, they may have started spending time with the wrong crowd, getting into trouble, neglecting their responsibilities, and pushing you away. When you tried to talk to them again and again to get them professional drug or alcohol addiction treatment, you had no luck. With little choice left, you may have decided to stage a drug or alcohol intervention.
An Intervention Gone Bad
Not every intervention ends well. In fact, a lot of interventions that family and friends try to stage on their own can go horribly wrong. Emotions are running high and people may say things they regret or do not mean. A lot of times the addict may feel attacked and end up separating themselves even further from their loved one after the failed intervention. Even interventions where a professional is present may still fail, but that doesn’t mean you should give up.
What to Do When an Intervention Fails
Even if the first intervention goes horribly wrong, it may not mean it is time to throw in the towel. Your loved ones need you right now, they just may not realize it or be willing to accept it at this moment. You love them, so when an intervention fails, here is what you should do.
Say You Are Sorry
Instead of letting a failed intervention push your family further apart, it may be time to swallow your pride. If you or anyone else said anything hurtful out of pure emotion during the failed intervention, you should apologize. Be careful not to attack them but simply to apologize for unkind words. This may be able to help mend some of the damage from the last intervention. If your loved one is hesitant to even talk to you, writing them an apology letter may help.
Although you love them, you could actually be making their addiction worse. Many people are unaware that their behaviors are enabling a loved one’s addiction. If you really want your loved one to stop, you need to stop enabling them as well and set strict boundaries. Examine your behaviors more closely and make a conscious effort to stop enabling. Your loved one will be forced to face the consequences of their addiction and be more likely to want to stop on their own.
Have a Professional Step In
Likely, the reason that the last intervention failed is because you tried to run it yourself. Instead of letting this happen again, an alcohol or drug intervention specialist can hold a successful intervention that leaves family members feeling heard and loved ones not feeling attacked. Interventions are also supposed to be about family healing, so while you are focused on getting your loved one treatment, a professional interventionist is focused on helping the family as a whole and could help you as well.
If your loved one has a substance abuse problem, let us help. At Banyan Pompano, we not only help people overcome their addictions, but also offer counseling for family members of drug addicts to help everyone affected by addiction heal and move forward.