The five stages of grief in addiction recovery were first identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying. She wrote that people suffering from a terminal illness, as well as those who experience the death of a loved one, go through various stages of grief until they reach a resolution. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Today, we’re going to be looking at how grief and addiction recovery relate and the stages that an addict may go through.
Grief and addiction recovery go hand-in-hand for various reasons. For one, no matter how much havoc or trauma that an addict’s addiction causes themselves or their loved ones, or how grateful they are to be sober, many of them miss their drugs and actually grieve for them. While they may not feel this way all the time, most usually have moments when they miss the distraction and immediate “escape” from reality that drugs or alcohol gave them. Any challenges or stressors that they have in recovery must now be faced without a buffer offered by these substances.
Many addicts also miss the rituals of using drugs or alcohol when in recovery. The places, patterns, people, and secret activities of their substance abuse or addictive behaviors became ingrained into their daily schedules and were suddenly removed from their lives. And yes, while an individual might understand and agree that these behaviors were detrimental, for many, it’s difficult not to grieve such a major change.
Thirdly, freedom. Living a life controlled by addiction usually includes avoiding accountability and responsibility to people and activities that might interfere with using drugs or alcohol or engaging in addictive behaviors. The life of an addict in recovery often involves a great deal of accountability, commitments, responsibilities, and making amends with people they’ve hurt along the way.
In many cases, the partners of addicts will also go through challenges as their loved one slowly adjusts to a life without drugs or alcohol. Considering the mood swings and fluctuations in emotions that often come with recovering from addiction, partners may deal with the brunt of their partner’s emotional adjustment to a sober life, as well.
Finally, no one is ever really prepared to lose a loved one, and the death of a person you’re close to is just as hard if not more difficult to manage in addiction recovery. If the person were still in active addiction, they would have immediately turned to drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism for their loss. But now that they’re sober, how do they cope?
Dealing with death and grief in addiction recovery is one of the toughest challenges any addict can face. Fighting the urge to seek an escape by drinking or using can overshadow any goals of a sober lifestyle. In these moments, it’s crucial for those in recovery to lean on others in their circle for support.
There is no single way to grieve, and the process of grieving isn’t a straight line. However, according to Dr. Kübler-Ross, the five stages of grief outlines a series of emotional phases that most people experience when faced with a major loss. Although they were initially intended to help people process grief after losing a loved one, they’re also helpful in understanding any loss, such as the loss of drugs and alcohol.
Below are the stages of grief in addiction recovery.
Whether you’re coping with the death of a loved one, a breakup, divorce, or you’re separating from drugs and alcohol, there’s no way around the grieving process. The best way to get over it is to go through it. With that said, here are some ways to cope with grief and loss in addiction recovery that can help make this process a bit easier:
Although the duration of this process is different for everyone, if you continue to struggle with grief or feelings of anger or depression during recovery, reach out for help. Our Texas treatment center offers various unique programs and therapies that can help you stay on track, including our 12 Step programs and our faith-based services.
For those who haven’t taken that first step towards a sober life, we can help you, too. Banyan offers Texas drug and alcohol treatment on a residential level of care for all kinds of substance use disorders. By incorporating psychotherapy modalities and physical treatment via medical detox, we promote both mental and physical healing from addiction.
For more information about our Texas treatment services, call Banyan Treatment Centers today at 888-280-4763.
Related Reading:
The Difference Between Sadness & Clinical Depression
7 Things We Did in Our Addiction That We Can Laugh About Now
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