You may feel guilty about leaving, but you cannot make someone get help if they don’t want it.
If you have tried time and time again to get your partner into an inpatient or outpatient rehab without any luck, it is time to do what is best for you. Ending any relationship is hard, but like your relationship, breaking up with an addict may come with a few added challenges.
How Addiction Affects RelationshipsSubstance abuse disorders affect far more than just the addict themselves. Their loved ones may be hurting as well, and too often, it’s their romantic partners who suffer the most.
A relationship with a drug addict is toxic. Along with codependency and enabling, the relationship can be filled with mistrust and is often one-sided. Many drug addicts are in denial about their problem; if you try talking to them about it, they get defensive. Also, drugs addicts lie frequently to cover up their addiction, which can lead to broken trust and gaslighting. Relationships are supposed to be 50/50, but they are putting their addiction before you. These types of relationships are unhealthy and if your loved one won’t change, it may be time to get out.
How to Break Up with an Addict & Move OnDating someone with a substance abuse problem can be hard. You love them, but their addiction is ruining your relationship. You may have gone back and forth in your mind several times about whether or not to stay, but now that you have finally made up your mind, the logistics of the breakup with a drug addict can be overwhelming. Our Chicago rehab is sharing some advice on ending a relationship with a drug addict so that you can start to move forward with your life.
Follow ThroughIf you do end the relationship with your addicted partner, it is important that you follow through with this decision. Going back to them right away is not only unhealthy, but also signals to your partner that your words carry no weight. Your empty threats mean that there are no boundaries in your relationship and your partner is likely to take advantage of this. Even if they do eventually go into a partial hospitalization program or get some form of professional help, they need time to work on themselves after treatment before you should even consider getting back together with them.
Wait Until They Are SoberThere is never a perfect time to end a relationship, but if you are breaking up with a drug addict, you want to try to do so when they are sober. If they are high or under the influence, their emotions may become even more heightened than normal and the breakup could quickly become heated.
Do It In PublicIf you partner tends to lash out or if their addiction makes them anger easily, it may be best to break up with them in a public place where other people are around, especially if you have concerns about your safety. If your partner has gotten violent with you before or threatens you during the breakup, it is important to take their threat seriously and contact the police.
Don’t Blame ThemWhile it is easy to point fingers and reference their addiction as the only problem, addiction is a disease and blaming them will often only make the breakup more contentious. Your partner needs help, and while substance abuse is not an excuse for their bad behavior, they also don’t have full control over their actions right now. It is better to do your best to be calm during the situation and tell them that this break up is what is best for you.
Focus on YourselfEnding a relationship with a drug addict can be mentally and emotionally draining. Like with any breakup, you need time to heal and mourn the relationship. Take this time to focus on yourself and your neglected needs. Try your best to avoid contact with your ex if possible as this can hinder the healing process. If you need to get professional help, do it.
At Banyan Chicago, we know that addiction can ruin a person’s life and drastically impact their loved one.